It Looked Useless—Until I Looked Closer
April 30, 2025
Source: Reddit
Solid wood. Turned like a table leg. About a foot long. End was rounded, other was sort of blunt. Heavy. Weirdly shaped. Not obviously useful.
The strangest part? A small oval cut was made in green felt around a screw head in the center. It seemed like it was made to carry something — but what?
I googled everything I could imagine. Stair parts, curtain rods, spinning tools. Nothing matched.
It’s a Wooden Bottle Opener
Then someone on the internet noticed: “That, my friend, is a bottle opener.”
Formerly advertisers of insanity and chop-sui, now I’m throwing you a bone about checking your beer cap. Well you just wedge the cap into that spiffy green felted space and lever it off by that screw head. Gives you grip and torque from far off with the long wood piece. The felt cushions the bottle. That’s it. Simple and clever.
I picked up a bottle and gave it a try. Worked instantly. I laughed out loud.
It’s Been Empty for Years
It occupied the open, in-plain-sight for years, passed around as some random hunk of wood. I almost tossed it. I remember using it once to prop a window open.
But it’s clearly handmade. Turned on a lathe. Sanded smooth. The sort of craft, that people used to take pride in even for something as trivial as a bottle opener.
Things Like These Are Full of Character
This thing has a story. It’s not showy but has a presence. You lift it and think, Who made this sipper? That green felt? Overkill for a bottle opener. But that’s what makes it precious.
Modern openers will do the trick. This one makes you pause. It’s meant to be seen.
It’s Staying on the Bar Cart
Now it sits beside our drinks, waiting to discombobulate yet another guesser. It’s not part of a chair. Not a furniture leg. It’s a wooden bottle opener — worded, charming and fully functional.
Oh, and my boyfriend’s also really proud of himself for holding onto it.